sometimes i envy working moms. and by 'working moms', i mean those who work for money outside the home. all moms are working moms, some just don't get paid for the work they do. at least not monetarily. (i like to think that i get paid with the pleasure that my kids bring me and being able to be with them for every milestone... government subsidies don't hurt either - o canada, how i love thee.)
and then i realize that working outside the home just isn't for me. at least not while my boys are small. some people (like me) just weren't built for that. and there's nothing wrong with that. nor is there anything wrong with wanting to work or needing to earn money. the most important thing is that we don't lump all moms together. each one has a different situation and a different personality.
i read an article yesterday about how a new study shows that working moms are happier than stay-at-home moms and i really don't know how they can quantify that. the study claims that stay-at-home moms "may be more socially isolated than working moms, which might increase their chances of being depressed".
there are a few things wrong with this statement, in my opinion. first of all, it's a gross generalization. second, in my own life, i find that i am more social now, as a sahm than i was when i was working. there are plenty of opportunities for sahm's to socialize. it's just a matter of wanting to seek them out. just because we don't mingle with coworkers doesn't mean we're anti-social.
also. i feel the need (again) to clarify that depression is a chemical disorder. in many instances, environment plays a role, yes. but whether or not i had been working out of the home would not have made a difference in whether or not i suffered from ppd. actually, let me correct that statement: i probably would have begun to suffer sooner, since i would likely have quit nursing sooner, and that was the trigger for me both times.
they also make the claim that, "Stay-at-home moms might also be under more stress as a result of being at home with their children all day. This stress may be relieved somewhat when their children start school, which may explain why the link [to depression] disappeared when children entered preschool". i think i would be more stressed outside the home, thinking about what my children were up to, if they were being well cared for, wondering what i was missing out on and debating whether the measly paycheque was worth it. and how, exactly, staying at home more stressful than the alternative? someone please tell me.
and as for depression disappearing when the kids enter preschool? could that not also be linked to the amount of time that has passed and hormones having a chance to regulate during that time?
and as for depression disappearing when the kids enter preschool? could that not also be linked to the amount of time that has passed and hormones having a chance to regulate during that time?
obviously i'm not a scientist. but i really feel as though this study should have covered a broader scope of moms.
and let me say that i have no disrespect for those who work outside the home, lest there be some heated debate sparking somewhere in the blogsphere. whether for financial reasons or just in order to stay sane, some moms need an outside job. in the same way, some moms need to stay home. but i don't think that any of us should be lumped together.
yes, i suffer from a post-partum mood disorder. no, it is not because i stay at home with my kids. yes, my kids can be frustrating at times, but what kids aren't? in my case, any paycheque i earned would go straight to a babysitter that gets to have all the quality time with my kids that i want for myself. so i just can't do it. and if that means going out less and living more cheaply in general, then so be it. because for me, part of my happiness comes in staying home with my kids.
yes, i suffer from a post-partum mood disorder. no, it is not because i stay at home with my kids. yes, my kids can be frustrating at times, but what kids aren't? in my case, any paycheque i earned would go straight to a babysitter that gets to have all the quality time with my kids that i want for myself. so i just can't do it. and if that means going out less and living more cheaply in general, then so be it. because for me, part of my happiness comes in staying home with my kids.
but that's just me. and that's all there is to it.
1 comments:
Interesting...reminds me of a study that claims that couples have less marital satisfaction when they have children. I never really believed that one.It's good to be skeptical of studies a lot of them biased and reflect the researchers opinion.
Don't envy working moms. I have to work night shifts over Christmas, and I'm already counting down the days until I go on mat leave.
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